The Rhinestone

Following Tuesday morning’s announcement that Brit-Pop boy band One Direction will play Nashville’s LP field in the fall of 2014, bookies in Las Vegas immediately began taking bets which offer a 14-point spread favoring One Direction over the Tennessee Titans. “I don’t think it’ll be a blowout by any means, but you gotta recognize that … Continue reading →

The Metro-Davidson area was bombarded today by a snowstorm the likes of which, local meteorologists note, hasn’t been seen since this past summer.  Nashvillians bravely took to the roadways during the afternoon rush hour, despite there being estimated accumulation of up to 0.0001 inches. “Frankly, I wouldn’t blame people if they decided to abandon their … Continue reading →

Following years of intense roadwork, including frequent closures of an entire two-mile-long portion, the Tennessee Department of Transportation admitted today that nobody in their organization can remember what they had been hoping to accomplish with the construction on I-440 East. “I’m sure there was a goal when we started, but damned if I or anyone … Continue reading →

Country superstar Reba McEntire told reporters today that she is “doing just fine, thanks” at the start of her seventh day living in a display case as part of an ongoing exhibit about her career at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. “It’s really not that bad being up here in the glass … Continue reading →

Following a recent announcement that the Schermerhorn Symphony Center is to be sold at auction due to a recent foreclosure, a spokesman for the group has confirmed that The Muppets are currently planning a “big show” intended to somehow save the financially-troubled performance venue. “We can’t just let the bank take it away from everyone,” … Continue reading →

Proclaiming it to be “the next step towards Nashville’s Future”, Metro Mayor Karl Dean and an assemblage of prominent local business owners held a symbolic groundbreaking ceremony today to mark the beginning of construction for an as-yet unnamed convention center, to ultimately be built on top of the new Music City Center convention facility which … Continue reading →

Metro Davidson residents breathed a sigh of relief today upon hearing that the ABC Television Network has renewed Nashville for another season, ending rampant speculation that the nation’s 39th-largest Metropolitan city might be at risk of cancellation. “ABC is happy to announce that Nashville will continue well into next season” reported Jacob Wallemeyer, a spokesman … Continue reading →

To the tune of much fanfare and debate, Governor Haslam signed Senate Bill 142 into state law today, effectively granting automobiles the right to possess firearms as a means of protection while their drivers are at work. “It’s always been a travesty that we have forced cars to just sit around all day without any … Continue reading →

Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Tennessee has declined coverage of an exorcism in Pigeon Forge, claiming that the pastor who performed the demon-removing ritual is not part of the BC/BST network of approved exorcists.  This comes after a Pigeon Forge resident filed suit earlier this week, alleging that a local pastor and his family assaulted him, … Continue reading →

Sources close to the couple say that graphic designer Julie Sorenson of Hendersonville and her long-time boyfriend, the radio station Jack FM of Nashville, may be on the verge of separating following a very public argument Wednesday evening; during the dispute in the middle of a Logan’s Roadhouse, Sorenson allegedly accused Jack of not having … Continue reading →