The Rhinestone

Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Tennessee has declined coverage of an exorcism in Pigeon Forge, claiming that the pastor who performed the demon-removing ritual is not part of the BC/BST network of approved exorcists.  This comes after a Pigeon Forge resident filed suit earlier this week, alleging that a local pastor and his family assaulted him, knocking out a tooth in the process and later claiming to their congregation that they had been removing The Devil from the plaintiff.

“Blue Cross has every right to decline coverage” explained BCBST spokesperson Janet Purdue.  “We have an extensive list of approved old-priests and young-priests, perfectly capable of performing quality exorcisms, and Blue Cross will honor any claims made through those service providers.  However, the clergyman in question here was not an in-network exorcist, nor is he on our list of covered dental professionals.  Therefore, we at Blue Cross are unable to cover the cost of the procedure as either an exorcism or a tooth removal.”

Purdue went on to note that the procedure wouldn’t have been covered, even if an approved exorcist had been employed, as BCBST investigation has proven the exorcism to be an unnecessary exercise in this instance.  “While Blue Cross has no way of knowing the current dental state of the gentleman in Pigeon Forge, we do know that he was not, in fact, possessed by The Devil.  Blue Cross is in regular contact with Satan, and he has assured us that he was too busy leaving cryptic signs in people’s tax forms to be bothered with routine possessions at the time of the incident.”

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“The Exorcist” screenshot found at http://hot-dogma.com/2013/01/28/our-name-is-cloture-for-we-are-many-will-an-exorcism-fix-washington/the-exorcist-505702c41624b/.  Blue Cross/Blue Shield logo found at http://www.buyitdowntown.com/news.php.