TDOT crews are repaving portions of Highways 243 and 43 in Maury County this morning, following a Monday spill of liquid metal across the roadway. The incident, which resulted in 1,500-degree molten aluminum being spread across the intersection and setting both the roadway and surrounding grass ablaze, has been declared by local and state officials … Continue reading
Posted in June 2016 …
Contributor Vendor Thinks Guy with Giant, Spinning Arrow is Trying Too Hard
Displaying obvious disdain for his counterpart’s tactics, street newspaper vendor Carl Benjamin told onlookers today that the man located one block down the street from his own location was “trying too hard with all that arrow-spinning nonsense.” Benjamin, who has been a vendor for the Nashville-based publication “The Contributor” for over three years, says the … Continue reading
Report: Your Out-of-State Relative Wants to Visit Downtown Tourist Bars
New findings from a recently-released study indicate that your cousin, who is currently visiting from another state, reportedly wants desperately to see “the real Nashville” before he leaves tomorrow. Furthermore, the study found that your relative considers “real Nashville” to be physically-manifested in the five blocks of honky-tonk bars and godforsaken tourist traps found on … Continue reading
Titans Fan Works To Maintain Depression During the Offseason
With nearly 7.5 weeks left before the NFL preseason begins, longtime Tennessee Titans fan Herbert James of Donelson reports that he is struggling to find other ways to maintain a steady level of soul-crushing depression and disappointment during the off-season. “It would be pointless to get my spirits up during the offseason,” noted James, “because … Continue reading
Carmike Announces Plans to Give Murfreesboro a Big D
On Friday, Carmike Cinemas of Columbus, GA announced their intention to build a new, nine-screen theatre in Murfreesboro’s Stones River Mall, former home to Carmike’s Stones River Cinema Six. In addition to more screens, upgraded seats, and a full dining experience, the fourth-largest theater chain in America declared that they are excited to be giving … Continue reading
Nashville Zoo Opens New Exhibit Featuring Rare Native Nashvillians
Visitors this weekend will be amongst the first to experience the Nashville Zoo’s newest exhibit, a three-acre enclosed habitat containing several Native Nashvillians. Native Nashvillians, once plentiful in Davidson Country, have begun to be regarded as an endangered species in recent decades, with those on display at the Zoo being among some of the few … Continue reading
Steven Tyler Seeking Collaborator for “Honk This Way [Tonk This Way]”
As work continues on his forthcoming solo album with Dot Records (a division of the Big Machine label), Aerosmith front-man and rock-legend-turned-country-artist Steven Tyler has announced that he is currently seeking a collaborator for a new single to be titled “Honk This Way [Tonk This Way]”. The 68-year-old former American Idol judge describes the planned … Continue reading
Resources for Helping Those Affected by the Orlando Mass-Shooting
There is nothing funny about what occurred Saturday night in Orlando. Today’s post is dedicated to connecting you with ways that you can be involved with helping. Here is a list of blood drives being held locally today (per WZTV): http://fox17.com/news/local/blood-drives-to-be-held-in-middle-tenn-on-monday. You can also call 1-800-RED-CROSS or visit http://www.redcross.org/give-blood. To offer financial support to the … Continue reading
Charlie Daniels, Chris Stapleton Pledge to Donate Beards to Underprivileged Performers
In a magnanimous gesture that stunned and warmed the hearts of fans, country music legend Charlie Daniels was joined onstage last night by rising star Chris Stapleton to announce that they would be donating their beards to “less fortunate country performers”. “We remember what it was like once, not having any facial hair and feeling … Continue reading
Brentwood Couple Unsure Which Drugs to Pack for Bonnaroo
Sarah and Bernard Upchurch of Brentwood have reportedly reached an impasse in the task of packing their belongings for the Bonnaroo Arts & Music Festival, which begins tomorrow in Manchester. Sources indicate that the central controversy which has halted preparation for their excursion is a disagreement over which illegal drugs to bring with them for … Continue reading