The Rhinestone

Nashville residents have mixed feelings about an anticipated massive shift in atmosphere when, following several days of chilly weather, an exceptionally sizable load of hot air is expected to come to Music City today.

“This is going to be an absolutely massive amount of hot air coming to downtown” noted WKRN Meteorologist Davis Nolan.  “We’ve seen events like this before, and you can absolutely count on two things: driving anywhere near downtown will be a complete nightmare for the duration of the event, and a lot of people are going to be feeling sick to their stomachs throughout.  This is gonna be pretty rough, no doubt, and the vast majority of sensible Nashvillians would rather all this hot air were going to some place it was actually welcomed, like the southern counties.”

The massive wind is expected to reach Nashville around 3pm this afternoon as it makes its way down from the northeast. The stay is anticipated to only last less than half a day, and primarily affect the airport, Hermitage, and James Robertson Parkway areas.  While similar events have occurred in Nashville previously, most residents agree that they were of a much cooler nature than this will be.

Meanwhile, Metro officials are doing their best anticipate and minimize the problems tonight’s hot air will likely cause.  Metro police will be out in force tonight, and Helmer Winstead, a spokesman for Metro Traffic Control, issued the following statement as part of a plea to area residents.  “If you don’t have to get out to see the hot air come in, for God’s sake don’t.  And if you do feel compelled to get out and see the massive hot air, or are even excited about it, then you’re probably an unmitigated moron.”

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Picture of source of hot air found at http://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-wisconsin-primary-ted-cruz-2016-4