Willem DeParnette, 29, confessed to close-friends today that he no longer believes in “Santa’s Pub”, an establishment which, according to legend, exists on the south side of Nashville near the Fairgrounds.  DeParnette reportedly cited both age and peer-pressure as the motivating factors behind his disillusionment. “When you’re a little baby hipster, still just learning to … Continue reading →

Speaking to reporters via teleconference from his home atop Love Circle in Nashville today, performer John Rich of the country-music duo “Big & Rich” explained that the world did not end on December 21st because he had single-handedly thwarted the Mayan Apocalypse. “I wasn’t gonna let those Mayans destroy America, I just love it too … Continue reading →

Unnamed sources within Governor Haslam’s staff confirmed today that they are under orders to deny entry into the Gubernatorial Doomsday Bunker for any individuals who are not already secured within.  According to these same sources, Haslam has specifically mandated that the doors must not be opened, even to former Governor Phil Bredesen, who built the … Continue reading →