TDOT Admits Forgetting Actual Purpose of I-440 Construction, Closures

Following years of intense roadwork, including frequent closures of an entire two-mile-long portion, the Tennessee Department of Transportation admitted today that nobody in their organization can remember what they had been hoping to accomplish with the construction on I-440 East.

“I’m sure there was a goal when we started, but damned if I or anyone else knows what it was anymore” confessed TDOT crew chief Herbert Langworth, who has spent every night of the last few years tearing-up and rebuilding I-440 Eastbound between Interstates 65 and 24.  “Seems to me that we had some plans drawn-up early on, but sometime around February or March, we just decided to wing it cause, ya know, we done this [sic] before and know how to do it.  Then next thing you know, nobody remembers what the reason for all of it was.”

Road crews do something with some sort of equipment on I-440 near Nolensville Rd.

Sylvia Wilson, a spokesman for TDOT, confirmed the validity of Langworth’s claims.  “Extensive searching of our records, both physical and electronic, has produced no clue as to why we began an extensive restructuring project of 440 near the Nolensville Rd exit in 2009, beginning with  the westbound lanes and continuing into the eastbound; nor have we been able to ascertain, despite our best efforts, why it has taken so long to accomplish whatever the hell it was we were trying to do in the first place.  Frankly, we’re just as mystified by the whole ongoing project as everybody else.”

Lacking a definitive endgame, Langworth notes that he has sent some of his workers to other projects until he is able to concretely explain what he needs of them on 440.  “I sent a handful of ‘em over to Donelson Pike the other day just to give the boys something to do.  Tearing stuff up on a busy airport road always makes the guys feel a little better.  Hopefully, we’ll wrap all this nonsense up over here soon and go join ‘em.”


TDOT Construction picture found at

Actual information regarding this weekend’s closure of I-440 (again) and the purpose of the construction (which is scheduled to be completed this month) can be found at

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