Residents Relieved to Know ABC Isn’t Cancelling the City of Nashville

Metro Davidson residents breathed a sigh of relief today upon hearing that the ABC Television Network has renewed Nashville for another season, ending rampant speculation that the nation’s 39th-largest Metropolitan city might be at risk of cancellation.


“ABC is happy to announce that Nashville will continue well into next season” reported Jacob Wallemeyer, a spokesman for the network speaking at local affiliate WKRN’s headquarters today.  “America will be able to sit back and enjoy the adventures, romantic exploits, and intrigues of Karl Dean, Bill Haslam, Beth Harwell, George Gruhn, Mike Munchak, Nicole Kidman, Dan Auerbach, and Willie the Contributor Vendor through well into the spring of 2014.”

In recent weeks, rumors had begun to circulate online which speculated ABC might cancel Music City in favor of a cheaper city with broader appeal.  Blogger and Berry Hill resident Josie Whitsell, better known to her readers as the TeleVisionary, noted last week “You wouldn’t think that a large Metro area like Nashville would be at risk, but you have to remember that ABC is owned by Disney.  If any company is powerful and ruthless enough to shut down a city the size of Nashville, it’s Disney.”

Wallemeyer explains, however, that such fretting is all for nought.  “It’s true, Nashville has some serious problems: traffic is terrible, John Rich lives here, and the character of Scarlett gets on everyone’s nerves.  Yet, in spite of all that, we at ABC recognize these problems are just a drop in the bucket compared to what Nashville/Metro-Davidson brings to the table.  Music City is hip and plays well to the valuable early-20’s demographic, and at a GDP of almost $81-billion, Metro’s still generating more revenue than ‘Body of Proof’ has ever dreamt of.”

Such tidings are a welcome reassurance to many of the 626,644 Metro-Davidson residents, who would be forced to relocate if their hometown had been cancelled by ABC.  Harvey Wilson of Antioch noted “If they cancelled this town, I wouldn’t know where to take my family.  If we had to move to Smyrna, I just think that’d be more than we could stand.”


Downtown Nashville photo found at

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