The Rhinestone

Several eyewitnesses at Santa’s Pub are reporting that a young woman identified only as “Julie”, who was called by the DJ for her turn on the karaoke stage only seconds ago, is apparently bringing a group of five friends with her to the microphone.  People on the scene also indicate that Julie appears to be … Continue reading →

Famed film director/producer Michael Bay announced today that he has signed a deal to direct “The Litagators” for a summer 2018 release.  Bay describes the film as “an epic crossover event that will bring together two well known franchises, Morgan & Morgan and Bart Durham Injury Law, in an explosion-filled showdown that will be the … Continue reading →

Prior to the November 8th election which will decide, amongst other things, the next President of the United States and the 115th US Congress, residents of Metro Nashville Davidson County will first have the chance to decide several local offices, as well as Congressional party primaries, on August 4th.  For Rollin Hastings and many others … Continue reading →

Responding to the ever-increasing public demand for more and better mass-transit options throughout the city, the Metro Council released preliminary plans today for Mass Transit Upgrades in Davidson County.  According to initial reports, the $13m proposal consists primarily of a system of strategically interspersed catapults, as well as nets or parachutes for landing. “We think … Continue reading →

While playing the new mobile-device geocaching game “Pokemon GO” in downtown Nashville Friday night, Antioch resident Sarah Steinbrenner became so focused on collecting Pokemon characters that she failed to notice she had unknowingly joined the Black Lives Matter protest march. “At one point while we were walking along the route of the march, some of … Continue reading →

The Metro Davidson Department of Health and Human Services announced today that all downtown skyscrapers will be immediately covered in prophylactics (until Monday morning) to prepare for the imminent arrival of the 80s rock band “Guns N Roses” this weekend. “We always inform people that they should exercise careful decision-making and be prepared to use … Continue reading →

According to eyewitness reports, David Wentworth of Sacramento, CA entered the vast atriums of the Opryland Hotel four days ago and has yet to successfully navigate his way out.  His family, lodged in a third-floor room of the luxury hotel, expresses that they are distraught by the situation, but remain confident he will find his … Continue reading →

After seeing Lieutenant Governor Ron Ramsey carrying “a very large bag of fireworks” through the halls of the state capitol, Governor Bill Haslam has ordered capitol security teams to high alert and put emergency medical teams on standby.  Aides within the administration’s office note that the Governor’s actions are merely a precaution. “According to the … Continue reading →

With wine sales beginning at grocery stores throughout the state today, members of the Apostle’s Word Church of Christ in Donelson say they are fully-prepared to pretend they don’t recognize one another at super markets while making wine purchases. “It’ll be a bit of an adjustment, sure” noted Apostle’s Word CoC pastor Jerry Smithead, being … Continue reading →

TDOT crews are repaving portions of Highways 243 and 43 in Maury County this morning, following a Monday spill of liquid metal across the roadway.  The incident, which resulted in 1,500-degree molten aluminum being spread across the intersection and setting both the roadway and surrounding grass ablaze, has been declared by local and state officials … Continue reading →