Hi everybody!
Bob here, editor/writer/photographer/craft services for The Rhinestone. First off, hello to all the new readers this site has picked up in the last month or so. I’m so glad you’re enjoying it!
Time for a moment of honesty: I had an article set for today, but it just doesn’t work. That is to say, I can’t make it funny enough to feel good about publishing it. I know that the quality of what The Rhinestone posts has its ups and downs; as one of my best friends points out (frequently), “they can’t all be gems”. Usually, despite my doubts, I go ahead post something when I feel it’s as good as its gonna get, and frequently, the ones I have the least faith in are the ones that become the most popular (I was shocked how much you guys like the one about Train). But when something just plain isn’t working, if it’s just not funny, I pull the plug; that’s what happened with today’s planned article, “Murfreesboro Stubbornly Continues Being … Well, … Murfreesboro”.
When writing, I typically start with a headline that I think is funny enough to stand on its own, and then write the article around it. Over the last four years, there’ve been a handful of headlines that I just couldn’t make work as an article, despite the headline itself being a good one. Also, there’ve been a few where the idea just came too far after the incident for the article seem timely. I’ve even published an article and then pulled it from the site feeling that either it didn’t work as well as I’d initially thought, or that it tonally felt meaner than I felt okay about (I try to never be mean, if I can help it). Since I don’t have an article today, I’m instead going to celebrate those near-miss ideas. For those things that almost made to the site but, for whatever reason, didn’t in the end, I want to give them the honorable mention they deserve. I hope you enjoy this brief list of headlines that never quite found their way to The Rhinestone.
Murfreesboro Stubbornly Continues Being… Well, … Murfreesboro
Residents Fear Swingers Club Will Bring Sex Back To Madison
Guitar Building School To Open Unironically in Former Liquor Store (Antioch really almost makes it too easy sometimes)
TDOT’s “Slow Fix 1” Project at Trinity Ln Continues Apace
Dickerson Rd Prostitutes Report Strong Fourth Quarter As Economy Rebounds
Bomb Threat Hoax Reminds Sumner Co Residents They Can’t Afford Schools Anyway
Tourists Who Strayed Away From Broadway/2nd Ave Rescued By Tourism Board
Iran, North Korea Deny Involvement in Opryland Hotel Blast
Wednesday will have a new article that I’ve been sitting on for a for a few weeks for timing reasons, and I intend to pursue a goal of a new article every Mon/Wed/Fri for the rest of 2016. If I miss one, though, it’s probably because I had something else that should have gone on this list.
Again, thanks for reading, folks.
Bob
The Rhinestone 
Looks like a local Onion! Good stuff. Did you hear they are going to level the Parthenon to build a new high rise condo?