Report: Your Uber Driver Has At Least Three Grammys

According to early reports, a new study by Vanderbilt University reveals that the driver of the Uber in which you are currently riding has apparently won three Grammy awards.  Furthermore, your temporary chauffeur may have won more than three such awards, but simply chooses not to mention the others out of modesty.

While the Vanderbilt research team was reticent to reveal all details of their study prior to its official release next week, they were willing to share a few key highlights from their findings about the person currently driving you back from a long night of drinking.  Amongst these highlights are:

  • Your amateur cabbie is a versatile multi-instrumentalist,
  • At the bar tonight, you heard at least five recordings on which they played,
  • and yes, that is in fact an ACM award statuette wedged into their cup-holder armrest as a decorative piece of flair.

While the researchers said that available data could not confirm whether the CD to which your driver is currently listening is one on which they played mandolin and/or banjo, the team’s chief spokesperson admitted that “it is a highly-probable scenario.”  However, the Vanderbilt team was willing and able to publicly conclude that the exceptionally talented and multi-award-winning musical virtuoso is currently taking your inebriated ass back to your home because “they need steady work that actually pays the bills.”



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