According to multiple eyewitness reports, former WTVF Meteorologist Ron Howes has been seen aimlessly roaming the streets of Nashville and explaining current weather conditions and phenomena to random passersby. These reports come just one week after the acclaimed weatherman’s retirement from News Channel 5; Howes was WTVF’s Chief Meteorologist for thirty-six years.
“My buddy and I were just walking down the street, talking, when suddenly we look up and there’s Ron Howes trying to tell us about low pressure fronts” reported Whitney Smith, a bartender in East Nashville. “We listened politely for a minute or two, and then headed on to Red Door. He just stood there and, when we looked back, he’d started telling someone else about the three-day forecast.” Similar incidents have been reported by numerous locals, including Sharon Whisenbee of Smyrna, who says that she saw the former Meteorologist on Broadway this past weekend. “We came out of Tootsies, and there he was, between a musician and a living statue, holding his little clicker-remote and telling anyone who’d listen to him about the barometric pressure. He wasn’t hurting anyone, but I was a little worried about just leaving him there on his own, ya know?”
Wildlife experts note that behaviors such as this are to be expected for a time. According to an interview with Charles Parsons of the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency, “Releasing a newscaster back into the wild after three-and-a-half decades in captivity means that they’ll have a significant period of adjustment to work through, at first. It wouldn’t be unusual to see such a highly-domesticated specimen like Ron continue to exhibit broadcast-like behaviors for even the first few months that’s he’s back out on his own. But I wouldn’t worry; given time, they always acclimate to their new surroundings. He probably won’t ever stop forecasting entirely, but I expect that pretty soon, we could see Mr. Howes reach a point where he goes entire days without issuing a tornado watch or warning. Who knows, someday he might even start a fishing show like [former WSMV weatherman] Bill Hall did.”
In the meantime, residents say they don’t mind the occasional run-in with the beloved local journalist. “He just passed me on the sidewalk in front of the Parthenon the other day and told me that we were under a Flash Flood advisory until 7pm” noted Wilson McFarlane, an accountant from Belle Meade. “I thanked him, tossed him some bread slices, and watched him wander away. It was charming, really.”
The Rhinestone congratulates Mr. Howes on his well-earned retirement and thanks him for his many years of exemplary work in broadcasting to the residents of Middle Tennessee. Kudos to you, sir.
Image of Ron Howes found at https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bBaqyYFnxc8/maxresdefault.jpg. Additional photography by Rhinestone staff photographer Greg Youszeck.
Hands down. The best writing in Nashville.
This is too funny!!
Seriously funny and very well written!
Loved it, and really well written!
To funny ! Really enjoyed reading this.
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