Following the discovery of King Richard III’s remains underneath a British parking lot, lawyers for convicted murderer and conspirator Perry March issued a statement today that their client is in no way responsible for the late monarch’s demise.
“Our client continues to assert his innocence in the death of King Richard the Third” lawyer Winston Thurgood told reporters, reading from a prepared statement. “Though Mr. March cannot produce a verifiable alibi for the night of August 22nd, 1485, he would also like to remind the public that there is also no evidence directly linking him to the Battle of Bosworth Field.”
The remains of the former Plantagenet king were unearthed on September 12th of last year during an archeological dig under a City Council parking lot in Leicester, Great Britain. Yesterday morning, DNA tests and radiocarbon dating led to a team of scientists and archeologists announcing that it was beyond reasonable doubt that the skeleton was in fact the remains of King Richard III. Though historical documents indicate the famous hunchbacked king was killed in battle during the War of the Roses, British authorities have confirmed that they will nonetheless look into the possible involvement of Perry March.
March, the notorious Nashville lawyer who was convicted in 2006 of murdering his wife and conspiring to have his in-laws assassinated, claims through intermediaries that he could not possibly be responsible for the death of Richard III, nor with the disappearance of his remains. The statement as read by Thurgood noted “Our client claims that he has never visited Greyfriars, Leicester, and has made no plans to run off to Mexico with young Edward V or Richard of Shrewsbury, as has been reported in some media outlets. Furthermore, Mr. March would like to assure potential jurors that the book he recently wrote about murdering a medieval European hunchbacked king was purely a work of speculative fiction and a complete coincidence, in no way indicative of possible guilt.”
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Perry March photo found at http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/family/perry_march/11.html. Richard III photo found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Richard_III_earliest_surviving_portrait.jpg
The Rhinestone 
